whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
The adults are the big ones right?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize