And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
