Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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