this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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