so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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