i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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