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• (775): View more from Nevada

  Are we in a gay sports bar?

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??

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  17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head

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• (817): View more from Texas

  just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?

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  These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?

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• (863): View more from Florida

  You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back

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• (850): View more from Florida

  Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.

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