Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(305): View more from Florida

Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.

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(310): View more from California

the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.

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(313): View more from Michigan

Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.

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(314): View more from Missouri

I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(970): View more from Colorado

she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation

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(949): View more from California

you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.

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(618): View more from Illinois

You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.

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(727): View more from Florida

I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes

(937): View more from Ohio

Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner

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