Texts From Last Night

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  (513): View more from Ohio

  WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE

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  (513): WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE http://tfl.nu/ja6y
  Replies (17) Good night (885) Bad night (5452)
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  (510): View more from California

  i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.

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  (510): i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him. http://tfl.nu/wohd
  Replies (16) Good night (726) Bad night (4659)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.

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  (815): I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse. http://tfl.nu/0lkw
  Replies (22) Good night (8213) Bad night (1799)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number

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  (224): he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number http://tfl.nu/3iey
  Replies (23) Good night (1067) Bad night (6038)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk

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  (715): its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk http://tfl.nu/cy8n
  Replies (8) Good night (4054) Bad night (1111)
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  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome

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  (+64): Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome http://tfl.nu/lxnn
  Replies (7) Good night (2907) Bad night (1425)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.

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  (231): I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk. http://tfl.nu/qjr2
  Replies (4) Good night (2227) Bad night (1120)
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  (408): View more from California

  Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.

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  (408): Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities. http://tfl.nu/yskk
  Replies (2) Good night (1945) Bad night (696)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.

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  (937): she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks. http://tfl.nu/kgtb
  Replies (12) Good night (3078) Bad night (1026)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....

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  (320): I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early .... http://tfl.nu/6r9w
  Replies (12) Good night (2641) Bad night (975)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.

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  (254): Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn. http://tfl.nu/xdjy
  Replies (8) Good night (990) Bad night (1310)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.

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  (210): Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night. http://tfl.nu/v64u
  Replies (7) Good night (1338) Bad night (555)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.

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  (678): Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques. http://tfl.nu/wk2i
  Replies (8) Good night (1405) Bad night (799)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good

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  (631): Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good http://tfl.nu/dysc
  Replies (1) Good night (929) Bad night (315)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password

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  (505): the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password http://tfl.nu/hr8l
  Replies (6) Good night (419) Bad night (163)

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