Texts From Last Night

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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.

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  (732): I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa. http://tfl.nu/0g11
  Replies (12) Good night (673) Bad night (3903)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.

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  (360): The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade. http://tfl.nu/rkoj
  Replies (48) Good night (4296) Bad night (625)
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  (585): View more from New York

  This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....

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  (585): This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time..... http://tfl.nu/b6dm
  Replies (13) Good night (3701) Bad night (747)
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  (916): View more from California

  Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?

  (760): View more from California

  You are my hero

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  (916): Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI? (760): You are my hero http://tfl.nu/9mtt
  Replies (36) Good night (7351) Bad night (1184)
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  (914): View more from New York

  my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip

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  (914): my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip http://tfl.nu/6k4u
  Replies (11) Good night (1697) Bad night (4808)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.

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  (813): Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature. http://tfl.nu/pp7x
  Replies (16) Good night (1878) Bad night (1029)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.

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  (541): Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room. http://tfl.nu/wcn9
  Replies (7) Good night (2798) Bad night (656)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.

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  (469): Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS. http://tfl.nu/dcv0
  Replies (3) Good night (1541) Bad night (475)
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  (347): View more from New York

  There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery

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  (347): There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery http://tfl.nu/86su
  Replies (1) Good night (889) Bad night (461)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.

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  (508): Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada. http://tfl.nu/kq1p
  Replies (5) Good night (331) Bad night (820)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them

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  (613): Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them http://tfl.nu/25vp
  Replies (1) Good night (847) Bad night (321)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.

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  (727): I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult. http://tfl.nu/f77x
  Replies (2) Good night (592) Bad night (471)
• Favorite

  (559): View more from California

  Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.

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  (559): Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle. http://tfl.nu/b5en
  Replies (1) Good night (560) Bad night (281)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.

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  (206): steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill. http://tfl.nu/2ixz
  Replies (1) Good night (672) Bad night (271)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  How is your new roommate working out

  (415): View more from California

  We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.

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  (510): How is your new roommate working out (415): We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good. http://tfl.nu/gu53
  Replies (2) Good night (936) Bad night (386)

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