goodnight i made you a song goodbye
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free