Texts From Last Night

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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk

  (678): View more from Georgia

  discrete masterbation is a lost art

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  (770): Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk (678): discrete masterbation is a lost art http://tfl.nu/z067
  Replies (32) Good night (675) Bad night (2727)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook

  (301): View more from Maryland

  it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.

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  (240): 9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook (301): it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly. http://tfl.nu/trii
  Replies (14) Good night (632) Bad night (3340)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.

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  (425): got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche. http://tfl.nu/j1u9
  Replies (11) Good night (3808) Bad night (618)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.

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  (301): chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING. http://tfl.nu/oa1d
  Replies (37) Good night (838) Bad night (5390)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  $1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.

  (212): View more from New York

  Please take video.

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  (815): $1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween. (212): Please take video. http://tfl.nu/t1i5
  Replies (13) Good night (6483) Bad night (691)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.

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  (760): Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule. http://tfl.nu/62pd
  Replies (24) Good night (1297) Bad night (4212)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?

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  (865): If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right? http://tfl.nu/p6zg
  Replies (19) Good night (2834) Bad night (959)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.

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  (909): Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge. http://tfl.nu/2a01
  Replies (5) Good night (1767) Bad night (615)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?

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  (703): you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat? http://tfl.nu/6p3h
  Replies (8) Good night (860) Bad night (1741)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.

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  (530): I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did. http://tfl.nu/hz33
  Replies (4) Good night (1768) Bad night (613)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?

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  (414): It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself? http://tfl.nu/nwby
  Replies (6) Good night (612) Bad night (1469)
• Favorite

  (980): View more from North Carolina

  Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo

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  (980): Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo http://tfl.nu/82bd
  Replies (1) Good night (916) Bad night (364)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me

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  (443): She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me http://tfl.nu/42gf
  Replies (3) Good night (1183) Bad night (569)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.

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  (651): Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz. http://tfl.nu/u6wd
  Replies (6) Good night (1321) Bad night (311)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.

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  (303): No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities. http://tfl.nu/n27f
  Replies (1) Good night (622) Bad night (271)

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