i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
