i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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