Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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