im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
