So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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