its not stalking. its research.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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