they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
