Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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