Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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