I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.