The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?