clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
17 People Reveal The Reasons Behind Their Foot Fetish
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I think pants incapable of making pants work