Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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