You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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