he thought i was a dude.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
