You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
