the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Randomize
