"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
