So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
