What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
