I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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