Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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