and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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