your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
