At least make sure they are 18
Why
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
