hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You were trust falling into bushes
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
