found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
