Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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