I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
