Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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