I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i will never coherently bang her
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
i drank out of a bidet.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
