New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
porn star boner night. come get it.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
