Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
