Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
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