sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
