I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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