That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
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When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
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Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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