made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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