Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
