I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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