You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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