either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize