he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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