its not stalking. its research.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
