All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I am naked and annoyed.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
