the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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