I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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