Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
