He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
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I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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