Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
