I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
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It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
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I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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