This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize