we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
