I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
