school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
