Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
