and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
