All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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